I have decided to start a new series here on my blog. As some of you may know, I am a teenage girl currently attending high school and trust me it’s absolutely nuts… In lieu of the madness that comes with growing up, I thought I would chronicle my experiences into life lessons to help guide anyone who is struggling in high school right now. I figured as a teenage girl in high school; who else is more qualified to give advice on how to deal with all the ups and downs? So welcome to volume one; Chronicles of High School: Finding your Friends. Grab a snack and sit tight because this one is a doozy.
“Strangers can become best friends just as easily as best friends can become strangers.”
You won’t retain all your friends
Let’s start off with something simple; not all the people you become friends will stay your friends. Unfortunately not all the people you meet are destined to stay in your life forever.
High school is the place to find your friends, the people who light up your life, the ones who make you smile when you all want to do is cry. Of course there are going to be people you meet who you think you’ll know forever. Then one day you’ll find yourself sitting alone drinking coffee, remembering all the memories you made with a girl who’s name you don’t even know. Even when you try and pin-point where it all went wrong there won’t be anything, no massive fight, nothing. One day you were talking and the next you weren’t now years have gone by and it’s too late.
I guess it’s hard trying to come to grips with the idea that friendships aren’t always forever. But that doesn’t mean you can’t meet amazing people and love them half to death. Just because a friendship doesn’t last forever doesn’t mean it isn’t amazing while they’re happening. Much like relationships, sometimes it’s better to just remember the good, the love.
How often has something shallow torn your friendships apart? With all the drama that goes on in high school it’s so easy to drift from people, to lose sight of them. Suddenly it doesn’t matter that you see them everyday in the halls because you’re just walking by a stranger and we do that everyday.
Even if you don’t keep all your friends, every person you meet will teach you something; always remember that.
People will use you
Not just in high school, but in life; you’ll meet people who befriend you simply because they want something. Tossing you away like garbage as soon as they have what they need. They’ll leave you pacing back and fourth wondering exactly what it was you did wrong.
It’s so important to learn to look out for these people; the ones who ask to borrow your clothes but never let you touch theirs. I find in high school these types of people are a-dime-a-dozen; especially when it comes to wanting help on homework. Huh, more like wanting you to send them the entire goddam thing.
The reality of life both in and out of high school is that people will use you. You have to be smart enough to know when they are and strong enough to walk away from them.
Not everyone is your friend
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been ditched; shoved to the side by someone the moment they find a better ‘friend’ to hang out with. Forgotten in conversation until you slowly drift into the background, because girl that has happened to me more times than I care to admit.
Who knows people who come to you for advice but the moment you need support stop answering their phone? I couldn’t tell you the amount of girls I know who are only friends with each other to be seen as ‘popular.’ The type of girls who bitch about each other non-stop yet spend all of their summer holidays together. These girls are not your friends. Doesn’t matter if they invite you to a party, because I can guarantee when you’re spewing your guts out they won’t be there to hold your hair.
Ever heard, “with friends like these who needs enemies?” For a long time I never understood where it came from, your friends are not your enemies so it made zero sense to me. Four years into high school and I get it now.
The girl who asks for help on the calculus test but doesn’t know any of the answers when you’re stuck; she’s not your friend. The girl who’s never free to hang out when you want to but if she needs something her schedule is free; she’s not your friend.
I guess I might be coming off a little harsh here and of course not everyone is out to use you. It’s just, as someone who is far to easily manipulated I think it’s important to know when people are using you and when they’re really your friends.
Good friends are hard to find
In life you will meet so many different people, unfortunately not all of those people will end up your friends; in fact most of them won’t. The reality is that finding people who genuinely care about you, ones who always make time for you, is hard. High school is like that place where you find out the kind of person you are and the kind of people you want to be around. It’s not easy, but it can be done.
How do you know if someone is truly your friend? Do they ask about your day and actually listen? Do they look out for you even when you don’t want them to? I’ll give you an example; I am lucky enough to have some amazing girls looking out for me. Except, sometimes I don’t want them too. Yet somehow, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that they care enough to say something even when they know it will upset me. Maybe I’ll get mad for a day or two but at least I know they care. Let’s just say friendships in high school come and go like the tide. Knowing you have one ally makes the days a little easier.
What you want is people who will fight for you. Friends who actually invite you to parties and make an effort to spend time with you. People who aren’t ashamed to be friends with you because you’re not ‘cool’ enough; whatever the hell cool means anyways.
It’s taken me a long time to figure it out and the truth is I’m still learning, but I understand now why people only have two or three close friends. Friendships are hard work and as long as it takes to build up a trust between friends, it takes seconds to tear it apart.
I think what’s hard about high school is that everyone is afraid their friends hate them, there is so much bitching that goes on behind peoples backs it’s hard not to imagine someone bitching about you. To tell the truth; you will be bitched about, we all will be; just not by everyone. Find those people, the ones who know your flaws but love you anyway, good friends are hard to find but once you have them you’ll never lose them.
all photos can be found // here