What Anxiety Feels Like

anxiety

I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth your health. Nothing is worth poisning yourself into stress, anxiety and fear.

– Steve Maraboli

Anxiety is the knot in your stomach after sending a risky text. It’s being so afraid of losing someone that you let them treat you like shit.

Anxiety is never turning up early because you don’t want to be the first one there. It’s being the person on their phone all night because you don’t feel like you belong.

Anxiety is the gut-churning you get after asking a question. It’s never asking for help or talking to sales assistants. Anxiety is never putting your hand up in class. It’s never putting yourself out there because you would rather not try than have people see you fail.

Anxiety is doing things to stop other people from getting angry with you above your own happiness. Anxiety is replaying every second of every day and wondering what you could’ve done better. It’s needing constant validation from those around you.

Anxiety is days going from good to bad just by the way someone greets you. It’s isolating yourself from everyone, it’s crying alone every night.

Anxiety is laying awake at 2am replaying someone’s comment over and over. It’s asking yourself why am I like this5 times a day.

Anxiety is crying over someone’s comment to ‘toughen up’ because every single day is a battle and being tough is not enough. It’s screaming at walls because it feels like no one understands.

Anxiety is never knowing why you’re upset, you just are. It’s convincing yourself  that everybody hates you, it’s a feeling of loneliness that never goes away.

Anxiety is constantly criticizing yourself, being that voice inside your head saying you’re a fuck up. It’s a state of constant exhaustion because it takes all your energy not to crawl up into a ball and cry.

Anxiety is holding back tears to the jokingly mean comment that was never meant to hurt. It’s always being overly sensitive and crying all the goddam time.

Anxiety is overthinking every situation, it’s always distracting yourself to drown out your own thoughts.

Anxiety is wanting to curl up and cry on saturday nights, it’s crying for no reason in the middle of the day.

Anxiety is living in a grey area, never being one hundred percent sure. It’s always second guessing yourself and being overly embarrassed when you’re wrong.

Anxiety is never confronting anything or anyone for fear of their reaction. It’s spending more time wondering what others think of you than what you think of yourself.

Anxiety is every tiny detail building up until it’s not tiny anymore, it’s the sweaty palms and the stomach drop. It’s not being able to explain why you’re crying.

Anxiety is wanting everyone around you to be happy it’s caring so much about those around you that you fail to care about yourself.

Anxiety is a daily battle but not one we must fight alone. I promise you that you will find people out there who care, who love you more than you will ever know and who will fight by your side every single day for as long as you’ll allow them.

 

post inspired by // this

photo credit //  here